Comedians

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Christian comedian Tim Hawkins shared an absolutely hysterical story about his wife behind the wheel. The good Lord blesses everyone. He touches and impacts our lives in many ways. One of the more obvious ways He does this is through the skills and talents that He gives to each person. Each person is equipped with these abilities to use them in a way that brings glory and honor to His name. Now, some people may be good with their hands and able to manufacture magnificent and awe-inspiring creations easily. Others might be naturally gifted with the written word. Some people may be good public speakers, whereas others shy away from speaking in front of crowds. But then there are other areas where we might need help, finding that our natural talent doesn't cover this or that thing. In a short, but hilarious clip posted on Instagram, Tim makes it abundantly clear that his wife was not blessed in the driving department. She is not the best driver. Driving is not a talent of hers. Tim mentions that he was in the passenger seat one day when his wife was driving down the road. He suddenly noticed that she appeared to be in a bad mood. So, being the loving and attentive husband, he asked what had upset her. These roads are horrible, she said. You've been driving on the rumble strip for 15 minutes, he responded. Did you not hear that? Later in the clip, Tim explained to his wife that rumble strips are meant to inform drivers when they've veered too far off the road. It's a safety measure to alert drivers to correct and get back onto the road. His wife's response to this safety feature is absolutely hysterical. That is awesome for blind people! she said. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Christian comedian Jonnie W. recounted his hilarious experience with melatonin, a supplement commonly used to help people fall asleep. For whatever reason, some people can have problems getting to sleep at night. Anyone who has ever experienced a bout of insomnia understands how frustrating and maddening this situation can be. All you want to do is get some much-needed shuteye. Instead of closing your eyes and drifting off to dreamland, you toss and turn late into the night and early morning. Of course, there are several ways to combat insomnia. However, by far, the most popular is taking melatonin. It's a readily and widely available supplement. Whether it works or not depends on the individual. In a clip posted on YouTube, Jonnie W. explains that he took melatonin when he was having trouble getting to sleep and because, as he states, hes in his 40s. He hysterically points out that it did work but probably a little too good. Now I take stuff to sleep. Anybody take stuff to sleep? Jonnie W. asks. Old people do this; I'm in my 40s now. You got to. He adds that he picked up a bottle of melatonin, and it ended up being much more intense than described. I wanted to go, like, herbal, he says. So, I went to Walgreens and got me a $5 bottle of melatonin. Anybody take melatonin? I thought, 'How bad could it be for 5 dollars?' Well, I'll tell ya how bad. He mentions that he experienced some frightening dreams while taking the supplement. Turns out it makes you have, like, vivid dreams, he said. Anybody have really vivid dreams on melatonin? And if you have night terrors like I do, it just cranks them up to a whole other level. So, now I see the thing standing at the foot of the bed but because I'm on melatonin, I sleep all the way through the night. I'm trapped. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Comedian Tim Hawkins has revealed his wife's habit of writing notes to him when she is upset with him. Marriage is one of the best things about life. It's a beautiful institution created by God Himself in which a man and woman vow to remain with one another forever, through all the ups and downs life may throw at them. As the Bible states, the two the man and the woman become one flesh. However, like anything worth having in life, it requires time, hard work and commitment. A marriage relationship is not something that will ever work by giving the bare minimum. It takes people equally committed to one another and willing to do whatever it might take to make that relationship work. That is the overarching promise in the vows that the husband and wife agree to while standing at the altar in front of God and their family and friends. But any relationship will have ups and downs, good times and bad. Tempers will even flare on occasion, resulting in heated arguments. This is especially true in a marriage. In a clip posted on YouTube, Tim Hawkins explains what his wife does when she is upset with him. Do you get nasty notes? Tim asks the audience. My wife writes nasty notes. When she gets mad at me, she's a note writer. Later in the clip, Tim mentions the hilarious and slightly uneasy sight he woke up to during his first week of marriage. Our first week of marriage, I woke up to a four-page nasty note on the table, he said. I knew it was bad. I looked in the trash can, and there was a rough draft. I knew it was going to be a tough week. While that is pretty hilarious, hopefully, you aren't ever on the receiving end of any nasty notes! Genesis 2:24 For this cause will a man go away from his father and his mother and be joined to his wife; and they will be one flesh.

One comedian hilariously demonstrated how some aging rockstars might update their iconic lyrics to reflect their age and stage in life. Aging is a natural process that impacts every person and creature on Earth. It occurs with every passing second, minute, hour and day. As much as we might like to forget or cease thinking about it, it's a simple, unavoidable fact of life. Because everyone experiences aging on a daily and even hourly basis, why not have fun with it? Many people stress about aging and getting older, but that still doesn't change the fact that while we were worried about getting older, we were getting older. See, worrying about aging is a useless activity resulting in wasted time. In a clip posted on YouTube, comedian Gary Delena explains his love of music. As a young man, Gary wanted to be a musician and even moved to London, England, to pursue this dream. Now, many rock legends come from England. However, people like Mick Jagger, Paul McCartney, Ringo Starr and Keith Richards are getting up there in years. It happens to everyone, of course. But Gary hilariously reimagined some of their iconic lyrics to better coincide with their age. He mentions Rod Stewart and how Rod might sing and write some of his tunes today. Rod Stewart still looks good, Gary said. He just can't remember his own songs. He then sings an updated version of Maggie May. Wake up, Maggie, I think I got something to say to you, Gary sings. Never mind, go back to bed. Gary also included an updated version of a Herman's Hermits hit, The Bee Gees, The Who and one from Paul McCartney, in which Gary provides new lyrics to With a Little Help from My Friends. You seen the commercial, guy runs to the John, Gary sings. Gotta go, gotta go right now. Well, I never worry when my bladder's full. I control it, and I'll tell you how. I get by with a little help from Depends. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Comedian Tim Hawkins delivered a hilarious and honest take on his wifes driving skills. Everyone has been blessed with different skills and gifts. The Lord determines who gets what abilities. Additionally, He selects if someone is skilled in many areas or just one or two. He has His reasoning for why He gives what to whom. However, regardless of the skill or the ability, they are to be used in a way to bring glory and honor to His name. He doesnt give someone a natural talent for something and expects them not to use it. How does that benefit anyone? At that point, its completely worthless. While everyone has particular areas in which they have a natural talent, there are others in which they will struggle. Some may struggle with public speaking or working with their hands, while others arent the best drivers. In a clip posted on YouTube, Tim explains that his wife is not the worlds greatest driver. However, he admits driving is the only thing he has on his wife. But anything can happen when she gets behind the wheel, he explains. He also hysterically demonstrates how he always prepares for the worst when getting in the car with her. I love it when shes behind the wheel; you never know whats going to happen, Tim says. And when shes behind the wheel, Im like, Hold on, honey. Hold real quick. He then shows the lengthy process he goes through to ensure he is safe and secure before she starts the car and heads toward their destination. He hysterically puts three or four seat belts across his body, a helmet on his head and even inserts a mouthguard to protect his teeth. As Tim prepares for a ride where anything and everything could happen, the audience roars with laughter. We all know someone who isnt the best driver in the world and sadly, that person for Tim is his wife. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Comedian Tim Hawkins hilariously used Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune to help illustrate and draw comparisons between the two very distinct types of people he believes exist in the world. Game shows are among the most popular kinds of television programming. Most people are good, honest individuals who enjoy seeing others succeed. Whether through skill or sheer luck, seeing someone else catch a lucky break in life will make most people smile. Who doesnt want to see good things happen to their neighbor? Well, thats likely a big reason why game shows are so incredibly popular. Of course, some of the best and most highly rated game shows are the long-running Jeopardy and Wheel of Fortune. The Right is Right is also a favorite, but everyone has to admit that it hasnt been the same since Bob Barker left the program. In a clip posted on social media, Tim stated that there are two kinds of people in this world. He claims there are individuals who either enjoy Wheel of Fortune or those who prefer Jeopardy. Theres two types of people in the world, Tim says. Youve got your Jeopardy people and your Wheel of Fortune people. I am Wheel of Fortune. After declaring his love of Wheel of Fortune, he performs hilarious impersonations of contestants commonly found on those beloved programs. Yes, Alex, Ill take Ramifications of The Peloponnesian Wars for $800, Tim says. Turn to Wheel of Fortune, I want a L. Can I have a L? Its like a seven if you did that to it. The audience bursts into laughter at Tims hilarious comparisons between those shows two different kinds of contestants. As the Wheel of Fortune character, Tim realizes that he needs to buy a vowel to continue solving the puzzle. The characters letter of choice is an L. So, is Tim right? Are you a Jeopardy or a Wheel of Fortune person? Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

How one comedian, Pete Holmes, hilariously managed to get his way out of a bad neighborhood will leave you in stitches. Most people enjoy visiting new places and areas theyve never been to. Unexplored countries, cities and towns promise so much fun and excitement. There is much anticipation that usually comes with new placesso much to do and see! There will be entirely new sights and sounds to experience and food to taste. However, while going somewhere youve never been before is exciting, it has some downsides. When youve never been to a new place, you are obviously unfamiliar with it, which can lead to traversing to potentially dangerous areas. Every city and town has places youd be better off avoiding. But if youre a tourist who has never been there, how will you know which places to stay away from? In a clip posted on social media, Pete explains that he found himself in a bad neighborhood. The clip starts after he says what happened but he knew he had to get out of there quickly, so he formulated a hilarious plan. He set an odd and unexpected destination: Barnes Noble. I got in my rental car Kia Sorento already pretty lame, he said. Terrified, no idea where I was. No idea where I needed to go. Turned on the GPS, hand trembling. Just knew I needed to get far, far away from there. Typed in Barnes Noble. When Pete mentions that he set his destination on the GPS for the popular bookstore, the studio audience roared with laughter. Was Petes first and immediate instinct to type Barnes Noble into the GPS navigation system correct? Did that guide him away from a less-than-perfect area of town? Well, he happily and emphatically admits that it did work. Additionally, he says some other retailers he could have used included Panera and an Apple Store. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Get ready to laugh at this original comedy sketch. Comedian imagines fast-food chains chattingand it's absolutely hilarious. At the start of the fast food meeting. The comedian represents McDonald's and then he is dressed as Burger King and jokes asking why he gets to lead the meeting. McDonald's responds, If its not broke, dont fix it. Hardees and Wendy's chime in making a joke about the ice cream machine at McDonalds. Chick-fil-A then blesses the others and brags about the length of the car line. The others proceed to say other solutions. Sonic comically says, Or better yet, make everybody park. What-A-Burger says to let them sit there for a few hours questioning their life choices. Chick-fil-A talks about the drive-through goals and Arbys is taking notes and asks for a repeat. McDonalds then asks if anyone has anything new coming out. Arby's has depression, then he corrects saying that they have meats coming, Taco Bell says the Mexican pizza is back. He starts to talk about what a customer is and Arbys takes notes. Popeyes shows up and has a conflict with Chick-fil-A. TitleMax shows up and Burger King says he needs cash. TitleMax realizes that he used to be Pizza Hut. They then make jokes about a Halloween burger that Burger King had. Panera Bread crashes the party. McDonalds expresses that this is just for fast food and Panera responds that they have a drive-through. He roasts Wendys and they decide to let him in and Wendys makes a comeback that Panera is just hospital food. Panera then decides to leave as Taco Bell splits again into KFC and Long John Silver. This one man show is both comical and creative. He is really enjoyable to watch. He will yet fill your mouth with laughter and your lips with shouts of joy. Job 8:21

Comedian Tim Hawkins delivered a hilarious and totally relatable rant about how he is entirely over searching for his kids lost shoes. Being a parent is one of the best things in life. Watching a child grow, learn and experience everything for the first time is a joy, and nothing is like it. Those youngsters will completely change your life in every way imaginable and for the better. However, anyone who tells you that parenthood is nothing but rainbows, roses and complete and utter happiness is 100% lying to you. As every parent knows and understands, children have a way of testing and pushing your patience. They may throw a tantrum here and there when they hear the word no or act out because they are tired. Whatever the case may be, no child is an angel all the time. In a clip posted on social media, Tim says that his children constantly lose their shoes, and he is entirely over the endless search for them. Whenever its time to go somewhere, and the kids have to put shoes on, there are never two shoes together. Tim is at the point where he is no longer concerned with what his children have on their feet when its time to leave the house. Thats all I do, and Im sick of it, Tim says. I dont care anymore. Im just like, Get in the car, I dont care whats on your feet. I really dont care. Im gonna put a Ziploc storage bag on your feet. Later in the clip, Tim mentions that perhaps Walmart had the perfect remedy for this situation, and we all completely missed it. He pointed out the thin plastic string the retailer uses to bind their shoes together in the store. Maybe were not supposed to cut that, Tim says. He then gives a hilarious demonstration of a child trying to walk in shoes with the plastic string still intact. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

Comedic legends Tim Conway and Dick Van Dyke had their dance routine go off the rails in the most hilarious way possible. Dance has to be the most challenging art form to master. Becoming an acceptable, passable dancer would take years of intense, dedicated, and highly focused practice. The amount of blood, sweat and tears that dance requires is unbelievable. Of course, practice and preparation increase significantly when other people are added to the mix. Dance is all about timing and staying in sync with your fellow performers. While this emphasis on timing may be needed in different art forms, it is crucial for dance. One false or wrong move by one dancer during a routine can throw the entire thing off, rendering all that time, work and effort useless. Messing up and making a false move during a routine has to be a dancers worst nightmare, something that would keep them up at night. In a clip posted on YouTube, Tim, Dick, Carol Burnett and Vicki Lawrence bring a dancers worst nightmare to life in the most hilarious way imaginable. The four legendary comedic actors take the stage, dressed in their best formal wear, and are ready to begin their dance number. Seconds into the clip, the music starts, and things are off and running, with everything going according to plan. However, it quickly descends into total hysterical madness. Either Carol or Dick made a wrong move, which results in Carol being pushed in the back. The two of them end up slapping one another angrily in the face. But Tim and Vicki are not immune from mistakes. She ends up dancing on his foot, causing him to double over in pain. From that point forward, things only get worse and even more hilarious, causing the studio audience to laugh throughout the nearly two-and-half-minute skit. These four comedy legends manage to deliver an absolutely hysterical laugh-riot of a sketch without even saying a word. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

A hilarious comedian shares what its like and the challenges of growing up with a hard-to-pronounce last name. Being successful in the world of comedy takes time and effort. But there is one big way to increase your chances of success in comedy. Comedy is all about being able to relate to your audience in an authentic way. This rule applies to every comedic form, whether its a sketch comedy show like The Carol Burnett Show, Saturday Night Live or a stand-up routine. Highlighting a real part of peoples lives helps the comedian connect with the audience. It also helps if the comedian is genuinely funny and quick-witted and uses their comedy to bring to light the absurdity of a situation that everyone experiences. In all comedy, there must be some kernel of truth to it. That is precisely why a clip of Jonnie W. explaining how growing up with a hard-to-pronounce last name is so hilarious. Its because what he is describing in the clip actually happens. Kids arent the kindest to one another at times, especially if someone is born with an odd or hard-to-say last name. Children will take anything and turn it into a joke, which they will use mercilessly forever. The video starts with Jonnie W. explaining why he goes by Jonnie W. on stage instead of using his real last name. He states that people have said it wrong his entire life. His last name is Wethington. But he says the worst incident surrounding his last name happened in the third grade. His third-grade teacher was going through the roll and taking attendance when she came up to his name. Instead of saying it correctly, she said, Weigh a ton. Jonnie knew what was coming next. His peers on the playground and in the classroom would have fun with that one. But with Jonnie growing up to become a comedian, he gets the last laugh, literally. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries and joy will come from your lips.

One hilarious comedian, Matt Mitchell, gave his side-splitting take on some of the world's biggest, most recognizable retailers: Walmart, Target, Amazon and a handful of others. Everyone needs materials to function properly in everyday life. These many different items can and do include groceries, shoes, chairs, blankets and even tiny plastic Ziploc storage bags. Of course, that is only a minuscule list of everything people need and buy on a daily basis. But to acquire those supplies and other necessities, we must venture out into the great unknown and step into a retailer that is likely to sell those items we desperately desire. At that point, we must enter places like Walmart, Target and Hobby Lobby, or visit Amazon.com. Sometimes, these shopping experiences are pleasant, while other times, those retailers leave a bad taste in our mouths. As you probably already know, going to Walmart, Target or someplace similar is not always rainbows and roses. It can be downright frustrating. Nevertheless, we are all incredibly familiar with those places, and that is why Matt's short, two-minute skit is so funny. In the clip, Matt, acting as those retailers, has a conversation between them. The topics that come up in the quick, witty and hilarious video are incredibly relatable because we have all been there and likely had a similar experience. The first and most obvious target in the clip is the limited number of open, functioning checkout lines. Everyone, whether an experienced shopper or a novice, understands this frustration. You need a few items and are in a hurry, but when you go to pay, you find out that only two of the 30 checkouts are open. Matt, as those stores, is absolutely spot-on, delivering one hilarious and witty line after another. Again, Matt's clip is so hysterical because while it's funny, there is a ton of truth in what he's saying as Walmart, Amazon, Target and Dollar General. Job 8:21 The time will come when your mouth will be full of laughing, and cries of joy will come from your lips.

Comedian Tim Hawkins brought the laughter when retelling a hilarious story about working out with his wife. Everyone wants to go through life as healthy as possible. Who in their right mind wouldnt? Eating right and getting the proper amount of sleep every night are crucial to achieving and maintaining a healthy life. Sure, its OK to indulge in a sweet here or there, but to do so regularly will only negatively affect your health. In addition to a healthy diet and getting plenty of sleep, there is one more big thing everyone must do to be as healthy as possible: exercise. Of course, exercise can take many different forms. Its all about finding something you enjoy and committing to it regularly. One popular way of exercising is going to the gym and using the facilitys various workout equipment. Some may run on the treadmill, while others will pick up free weights and use them. Some people will even use the weight machines. Tim prefers to work out by going to the gym regularly. In a clip posted on social media, Tim recalls when his wife wanted to work out with him. He states she even asked him to be her coach and to push and help motivate her. She wanted to become better and called on him to be a leader. He says that his wife wanted him to help her start her workout routine the next day. She wanted to be pushed and to become better. Well, when the next day arrived, things didnt go exactly according to plan. So, the next day comes, Hey honey, you ready to work out? Tim asked her. Her response wasnt the most pleasant one in the world. Uh, you need to mind your own business; thats what you need to do, she told him. 1 Timothy 4:8 For the training of the body is of profit for a little, but religion is of profit in every way, giving hope for the life which now is, and that which is to come.

The legendary Tim Conway and Dick Van Dyke bring the laughs as clumsy and inept window repairmen in a classic skit from The Carol Burnett Show. Most people pride themselves on the quality of their work. They want to do their best and produce a quality product, especially if they are being paid for that work. Or that should be the goal anyway. In many ways, the kind and quality of work one puts out in the world is an advertisement of themselves to others. It shows others that this is the kind of work Im capable of and how much care and detail I invest into it. In that case, according to a clip posted on YouTube, Tim and Dick arent capable of much, especially when it comes to repairing windows. In the absolutely hilarious clip, Tim and Dick play two men working to replace a storefront window. Soon after arriving on the scene, they both get to work. Dick pulls out a tape measure to figure out the length needed for the new window. Tim, who plays his second in command, stands by, watches and then finds ways to injure himself with the measuring device. Once the length and width have been determined, both carefully carry out the nonexistent piece of glass. They mimic carrying the piece of glass out, stopping right in front of where the glass will live. But, of course, it is more complicated. Nothing ever is simple when Tim Conway is involved in it! The two go back and forth, breaking several pieces of nonexistent glass multiple times. In this skit, they also show why they are comedic legends. Both are continually hilarious throughout the seven-minute sketch without either saying a single word. Their acting is spot-on. Even though there is obviously no glass in the sketch, because of their actions and mannerisms, they might actually fool you into thinking there is one present. Proverbs 17:22 A glad heart makes a healthy body, but a crushed spirit makes the bones dry.

The legendary Carol Burnett and Tim Conway put together a pet funeral in a hilarious skit from The Carol Burnett Show. Pets are special, and it doesnt matter whether theyre dogs, cats, rabbits, birds or snakes. They are all beloved members of the family. Soon after bringing them home, those creatures quickly find a place in our hearts and remain there forever. It gets to the point that celebrating or doing anything without them present feels weird and just plain wrong. Thats why when those creatures eventually pass away, its always a devastating and incredibly emotional situation. Even the most stoic and unemotional pet owners will shed a few tears when they lose a beloved dog or cat. They are family members and dear, loyal friends. In a clip posted on YouTube, Carol and Tim show the devastation of losing a pet and add some unexpected hilarity to the situation. Carol has just lost her beloved pet, a canary, and is, understandably, broken up about it. Tim, hoping to provide her some comfort, agrees to pay for the late birds funeral. However, things quickly get absurd after Tim agrees to foot the bill for the birds final expenses. Throughout the clip, Tim approaches the situation from a logical standpoint. But that doesnt exactly go over well, as Carol is an emotional mess. Minutes into the sketch, the audience learns that Carol is broken up about a bird she had owned for a relatively short period. Hilariously, Tim also informs viewers how the bird passed. It was a hysterical and unfortunate accident involving Carol, the bird and a vacuum cleaner. To make the situation even more absurd, the strange pet funeral home director continually and oddly inserts himself. He catches several cross-looks and sharp but witty comments from Tim. Losing a pet is never easy, but The Carol Burnett Show demonstrates that they can bring laughter to any situation. Proverbs 12:10 An upright man has thought for the life of his beast, but the hearts of evildoers are cruel.